How to Shoot Your Friend Shot...
The internet is a strangely beautiful place. Like, the kind of beautiful that’s subjective; where you have to tilt your head a little to the side in order to truly appreciate its hidden appeal.
With the right post, you could be on your way to your next opportunity, meeting the love of your life, or even making a new friend.
Recently, I’ve been getting an influx of “we should be friends” messages from my internet peers, so much so that my heart is totally overwhelmed!
As you may know from a series of my previous posts, ya girl used to be FRIENDLESS. It’s been pretty incredible to see what happens when you ask God to fulfill a need in your life as you then put out the right energy to receive it. After I shared my “We All Need a Girlfriend” post, the inflow of “me too’s” was astounding, showing me that we’re all just looking for that one good gal-friend out here!
You ever visited someone’s page and was her point of view on something or maybe she just posted a really bomb #OOTD post and you think to yourself: dang, we could totally be friends. Well, I’m convinced that some of us are still without our best friends because we’re too afraid to make the first move. The worst that would happen is she could leave your DM on “seen” but that doesn’t mean all hope is lost for you.
When I think about all the recent connections I’ve made over this last year, all credit is due to the internet. Whether it was through apps like “Hey Vina” or a simple, “Let’s grab a coffee sometime,” message, the interwebs have been the perfect match maker for me.
I remember when I was at school, I started following this girl who, for some reason, looked like someone who should be my friend. I only had her social feed to go off of, she just went attended the neighboring university but we never met.
After graduation, it took us some time, but we ended up connecting over Snapchat from commenting on each other’s post. Then one day – I can’t recall if it was by her initiation or mine – but one of us were just like, “I’ve always thought we should be friends,” and the other one was like, “Me too!” Before we knew it, we were Facetiming, going out for dinner, and discussing boy drama like old childhood friends. We often say, jokingly, to each other, “We should have done this a long time ago!” and that couldn’t be more true! And did I mention we’re both Pisces?!
This is just one example of what happens when you shoot your friend shot, but let’s be clear: there is a certain protocol to follow when engaging in the shallow water of internet friendships. And I’m here to help:
First of all,
Don’t be a creep:
Let’s just go ahead and get this one out the way. There is a way to slide in someone’s DM’s without being a creep about it. Don’t just flatout say: “We Should Be Friends!” in hope that the sparks to fly. This may work in some cases, but it may come off as too thirsty to some. Start slow... work your way up to it. Send her a compliment. Comment on her new blog post. Inquire about her wash & go routine. Allow the conversation to take its natural course, and then when the window opens to exchange contacts, jump through that thang! But remember: ease into it. There’s no rush.
The Glass Slipper Effect:
We all know the story of Cinderella, when Prince Charming set out on his quest through the entire kingdom for the one young woman would fit his glass slipper. If you remember correctly, a lot of the candidates looked good and talked the right game, but when it came to the fit, it just didn’t work.
Shooting your friend shot is quite the same, not every girl you feel a connection with online is going to feel that way back, so don’t force it. If you have someone who you think could possibly be the Godmother to your future child, feel it out. Do a chemistry test, go out and see if you all can actually keep a conversation going and share common interests. There’s nothing wrong with trying, but if it doesn’t it work, it just doesn’t work. At least you tried though.
Just like dating, how are you expecting to get to know someone solely through texting and Instagram comments? You’ll never understand her sense of humor, tone, or develop a natural flow between you all’s conversations if you never hang out – or when distance comes into play – Facetime.
Not to mention that people can be whoever they want to be behind the shades of their social media account, so maybe the person you’re allured to via her daily post isn’t who she really is over lunch. Get personal and find out who they really are. Don’t be shy. There may be some awkwardness to shift through the first 10mins of the conversation, but once you all break the ice, the rest will be HERstory.
Set your intentions:
So you’ve gotten this far, what do you want out of this? Are you looking for the all-around girlfriend? A business partner? A spiritual companion? Say it! Sometimes we look for people to show up for us in areas that they aren’t equipped to fulfill. Be upfront about what you look to get out of the relationship so that each party knows what they’re getting into.
Build a Foundation:
Every friendship starts with a good foundation and nothing happens overnight. Keep in mind that you’re learning a whole new person with a whole new personality, emotions, dislikes, and tweaks you may not be used to. That’s okay. Give each other the space to learn about one another so that when it’s time to really show up, you have the tools to be there for her.
Before you go: Have you shot your friend shot before? Share your experience in the comments below, I’d love to hear.