My Unexpected Connection to #BareMinimumTwitter
You’ve probably seen tweets buzzing around about, #BareMinimumTwitter, right?
If not, the concept derives from relationship-based tweets showcasing someone’s significant other doing the simplest acts of affection and getting viral applauds for it.
He opens your doors and pulls out your chairs? *Bare Minimum Twitter cheers*
She remembered your birthday this year and actually got you something you liked? *Bare Minimum Twitter lauds*
He treats you with respect and doesn’t have multiple women on the side while you two are in a committed relationship? *Bare Minimum Twitter falls into cardiac arrest and seeks resuscitation*
For a while, I was a part of the elitist class that looked down upon Bare Minimum Twitter with judging eyes, wondering why they were so easily stirred by what seemed like the simplest gestures of admiration, until I looked in the mirror and realized: I too am Bare Minimum Twitter. *gasp*
I couldn’t believe I had fallen so low without even noticing.
“What year is it? How long have I been down here? Who’s the president?” I asked myself, trying to pinpoint when and where things went left.
The moment I realized something was up was when an old associate of mine slide in my DM’s requesting that we “hang.” We had been cool, but we just lost touch over time, so I was both alarmed and curious of his intentions since his approach was so familiar as if it hadn’t been 3 years since we last held a conversation - nor to mention his invitation came completely out of the blue.
He suggested that we have dinner and catch a film, in both cases asking me what I liked and wanted to see. From there, we set a date and he even reached back out a couple of days before to confirm the time of our event and... that was it. As in: that was enough for me to be “impressed.”
To recap, all he did was:
Ask me out.
Set up the details of the date, and
Reach out ahead of time to confirm our arrangement.
That’s all it took for me to be charmed – ever so slightly – by his follow through.
Is that pathetic? (No, like, I’m really asking... is it?)
I’ve been asking myself this for the last few hours because I honestly don’t know but I think the answer is, “yes.”
You see, I’m supposed to be the girl with the “high standard.” The girl that’s not easily swayed and moved by the cheap advances of male suitors. I’m the girl who wants be someone’s Plan A; to be courted properly. So to think, right now, at this moment in my life, I would be impressed by what I’m supposed to be receiving as an eligible bachelorette, not as the bare minimum but as the standard, I had to ask: had I become a modified version of myself without even noticing?
Looking deeper into it, maybe it’s not so much that I was “impressed,” but that I was pleasantly amazed that he actually followed the protocol. That he didn’t just ask me out then expect me to figure out all the details of the day. That he didn’t ask me out to just come “chill” over at his place to “watch some the Ozarks.” I was surprised that he actually came correct, and that, to me, is sad.
Not sad in the weeping sense, but sad as in feeling disappointed that receiving the bare minimum has rewired our brains to view it as excellence. That turning down a date because you weren't approached like the Queen are you makes you a B----. That demanding decency has become an anomaly. That being treated correctly is so sporadic, so rare, that when you find it, it’s like stumbling upon a vegan unicorn at the end of a rainbow while eating 4-leaf clovers for lunch.
I know better and I know what being treated with respect looks like, but when you go so long without receiving it, you start to minimize your standards to adjust them to the behaviors of others. That’s dangerous and requires swift adjustment to one’s crown.
I think it’s fair to say that we all could do a better job at raising our standard in what we give and receive to others in both our romantic and personal relationships. A.) With fellas putting more effort into the details of dating and being intentional about the pursuit and B.) with ladies standing firm in what they feel they deserve. That doesn’t mean being a snob (ladies) or being thirsty (guys), but knowing that Kings and Queen recognize one another as such. It's time to rise to the occasion.
Before you go: When was the last time you analyzed your standards? Leave a comment below letting me know how you're thoughts!
Peace, peace, peace,