We All Need a Girlfriend...
I recently got a call from a young woman I met through my "The Chosen Ones" interview series that nearly brought me to tears. No, there were was no sad news shared or a report of misfortune... she was just calling to see how I was doing. You may think I’m being a bit melodramatic when I say this, but nobody really checks up on me. Sure, I get a text message or IG caption here and there from someone saying, “You were on my mind,” but a call? Where you actually hear my voiceand tone? Those are like finding a crumpled up dollar in your jeans on wash-day: few and far between but when you do, you feel elated; blessed even.
Maybe it’s because people assume I’m this sort of fountain of inspiration that runneth over, never going dry; but I need watering too. And for so long, I haven’t been.
She’s kept her word to me every time we’ve had plans, thus single-handedly restoring my trust in women.
Gaining and retaining friends has been an obstacle for me in recent years because for so long I had nobody. Like, NOBODY. The entire duration of my senior year in college was the loneliest I had ever been because I had not a single friend to call on. I’d attend events and got to breakfast, lunch, and dinner by myself, besides the occasional company. After graduating, I thought for sure that making friends was a hopeless cause because I had somehow missed the boat.
Most of the people I grew close to were guys who took a liking to me, but as the years passed, they found themselves in relationships or things just got... weird. So I found myself back at square one in the no-friend department.
Full transparency here: I’ve actually cried a lot about this. When I was back in NYC, it felt like college 2.0. Whenever I would meet girls that I saw potential in, they would turn catty with me, feel intimidated, or I would always be the one reaching out to get them to hang. There was one girl who I thought could possibly be bridesmaid material, but after moving back home to SC, I never heard from her again. Needless to say, our friendship fling eventually fizzled out.I felt like I was in the twilight zone of friend zones, but as of recently (like, veryrecently) things are starting to look up.
After crying and praying about my gal-pal disparity, I gave it over to Godandleft it at his hands. I told him that I trusted him to place the right people in my life and left it at that. That’s when I reconnected with a young lady from college who had moved back in town and wanted to meet up. Not only has she been willing to come pick me up for our outings (I don't drive), but she’s kept her word to me every time we’ve made plans, thus single-handedly restoring my trust in women.
The girl mentioned at the start of this post has also been nothing short of an angel. When we met for our interview, we immediately clicked; a moment that could only be summed up by, “I don’t know you, but I know you.”
Even as a writer and human word-bender, I’ve been unable to articulate the gravity of their presence in my life at this point of infancy.
You see, I was bruised. For years I left my guard up when it came to girls my age because the ones I called friends in college treated me like dirt and moved on like I never existed. I was fearful of letting women in because I always felt like they’d prove my skepticism right.
But I couldn’t continue to live this way if I wanted to receive what I had asked God for.
I’ve aspired for female companionship for so long, to finally see the sprouts of them shooting from the soil is a testament to a slow, but fruitful harvest. Yes, having predominately guy friends was cool for a while, but there’s just something about having that sisterly connectionwith women who show compassiontowards you, who you can share your struggleswith, who can understand your whole mood with a simple, “Girl.”We all need a girlfriend or two. We all need to feel heard and understood. We all need to feel checked up on and remembered. We all need to be able to let off some stream and twerk a little without the fear of judgement. We all need love manifested in the form of companionship.
As my dad once told me, with tears of hopelessness streaming from my eyes, “The friends you desire are coming, and God’s going to create a space for you in their life.”
Well, it’s safe to say he was right.
Before you leave:Let me know your thoughts on this post in the comments below! Were you having trouble in the girl-friend department? How have you been able to approach it differently? Leave a comment letting me know; I want to hear!
Peace, peace, peace,