I had a conversation with my Dad earlier this week that went something like this:
Me: Daddy, I just feel like I'm letting my summer pass me by... I just don't want to lose my summer...
Him: Well, baby, it's not about the summer anymore; it's about life.
That one sentence completely shifted my perspective almost immediately.
You see, a few days prior to our conversation, I stumbled across some pictures from associates of mine back in New York, partying, enjoying day parties, and happy hour socials, and I had a moment. I can admit that a little piece of me longed for that feeling: that momentary bliss of being young, employed, and carefree in the city.
Last summer, besides 2013, was easily the greatest summer of my young life. I danced/sang at festivals like Made in America and Afro Punk, experienced the VMAs, saw Drake in concert, attended an NBA draft party with actual first-round draft picks in the building, ate my heart out at brunches all over the city, heck, even met Nas! With all of this, in my head, I believed that this year, I would be able to top that summer and do it all (and more) again.
But that version of my summer is not coming.
Instead, I'm in Moncks Corner, SC doing just the opposite: "nothing."
And strangely enough, I'm not mad about it.
You see, this "nothing" is actually something: it's grind season. The work that I'm putting in now, is behind the scenes. It's internal and will bloom in its proper season; no sooner and no later. It's the time that God has allotted me to be off and hidden so that He can prune me of all the things that made me most comfortable; the things that I put before him for far too long. God has comforted me with the peace of knowing that I'm not missing out on anything while he's working on me.
When I was in the city, I was lonely AF and consumed with my 9-5.
I mean, y'all, I put the "one" in "lonely." Sure, I had associates, but getting them to just hang out and chill was like pulling teeth and who really wants to deal with that? At work, the account that I was on was under review, all while members of my team were jumping ship almost every day. My stress levels were through the roof & I was soooooooo close to quiting. The way it worked out, I guess I sort of ended up doing that anyway (lol). Now that I'm home, I have time to pray, write, think; and if I need to talk, I have my sister, Dad, and if she sits still long enough, I even have my niece to go to.
I'm really at peace, y'all. Peace beyond my own understanding that I can only thank God for.
I know the warm breeze and endless flow of pictures on your IG timeline may cause you to think that if you're not at a day party every weekend, you're lame. Or if you're not on a foreign beach, you're missing out on life. Let me help you out here: YOU'RE NOT. God willing, that beach will be there, that artist will be on tour again, and there will be another day party just like that last one, next week.
If you're not in the place, physically, financially, or spiritually, to have the "summer of your life," then keep your head down, grind, and work until you get to the place where you can do these things, and not just for the summer, but for life.
Before you go: let me know in the comments below how your summer is going? Do you have the summer solstice blues? Or are you living it up? Leave a comment letting me know!
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Peace, peace, peace,